Drip....Drip....Drip.... Every 13 seconds for the last few weeks, the shower in our bathroom has dripped, and there is nothing I could do to stop it. I would sit awake in my bed and want to scream, trying sponges under it, closing the door, and trying to count to go to sleep.
Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about the Enemy. He comes to steal, kill and destroy. One of the things he wants to steal is our joy. He wants us to be miserable human beings, wallowing in self-pity, covered in worry, drowning in doubt, and suffocating in bitterness. He is pure evil, wanting Christians to loose their salt and vitality in a world saturated in darkness.
That dripping, that awful, cursed dripping. I just wanted to rip the shower out of the wall. Doesn't that represent the temptations in our life? We get so mad they are there, we fight thoughts to cause strife, and we want to scream and scratch at them. We get mad at God for allowing them to be there, thinking "It's not fair, God!" Why are you doing this to me? Don't you know I need some peace in my life? Don't you understand I want a good day? Why can't I have it easy for a change?
I often don't understand God's purposes. Why does He want to see His children suffer? Why does He put thorns in our flesh, dismal circumstances in our path, and cloudy days to block the view of His presence in our lives?
Last night I had an awful night. I had been struggling with headaches off and on for 4 days, and yesterday the pain hit an all time high. I still went with our family to church, not wanting my children and husband to miss out on the fellowship and blessing of being able to worship together. Yes, I'm so stubborn I don't know what's good for me. After church I went to the car and sat there in tears, eyes closed, waiting for Kris to come with the little kids to go home. He got in the car and told me "I took a while because there were some guys who were interested in the gospel and didn't have Bibles." I'm so glad I was stubborn and stuck it out so Kris had the opportunity to share with those guys and put the Word of God into their hands. Then we went home and he sent me straight to bed. Drip, drip, drip. Finally, in an act of desperation, I begged him to do something about that dreaded shower head. He cut off the valve. Finally, I could rest.
While I rested, I dreamed. I've been having so many dreams lately, many about things happening to my children that I couldn't prevent, some about falling, and last night I was on a roller coaster. Up and down, up and down I went. Then I went to crystal clear waters somewhere tropical. There were others there, people I didn't know, but they were all peaceful and happy. I relaxed and soaked in the warm water. Then a man came to us and brought us to a table. I didn't know what was going on until he spoke. He shared that we have bad things that happen to us, big disappointments that we don't see coming. Then he pulled out a Bible. He read 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it".
Those words were such a comfort to me. I woke up, and my headache was finally gone.
My baby girl is about to go under the knife again. I've been so anxious lately that something would happen to prevent her from having surgery: childcare not working out, my health, one of the kids getting sick, etc. I don't know why I worry, when God has it all under control. Why do we try to manipulate our circumstances and play God? Satan is trying to steal my joy. I want to crawl into the shelter God has provided for me, the refuge from the temptation to be anxious, miserable, and fretful, and find peace from the storm. I don't know if any of you are having similar temptations seizing you, but I hope by sharing you will be encouraged to fight off the arrows the enemy is trying to hit you with and return to the joy of the Lord that will keep you strong and keep your light shining brightly.