Monday, August 27, 2012

Blessings in the Midst of Discouragement

"Try not to be discouraged.  There is a big picture here, that we can't see.  Try to remember that things are going along with a perfectly orchestrated plan by the One who loves you more than you could ever know.  Your little girl is STILL coming home!"  This text message was a reply by a dear friend who was one of the first to hear our news.  On August 23 we had a conversation on the phone with our agency about the matching process.  We were upbeat, excited and enthusiastic as we shared with her how happy we were that things were moving so swiftly.  Then she delivered the news we weren't expecting. At all.  We assumed that when we were officially logged in to the Chinese system that we would automatically be matched with Mei Mei out of a list of files in their system.  We assumed wrong.  "The lists are smaller than they used to be", our agency told us.  "We have an average of a 3 month wait now". There are other factors that play into this, giving the possibility of a match much sooner, but she wanted to prepare us for the worse case scenario.  Our hearts went to our stomachs.  Kris could no longer talk and had me finish up the conversation.  Does this mean we won't be able to get Mei Mei as soon as we thought?  Her reply was "Let's just say about 7-8 months for now".  I wanted to cry.  So did Kris.  I waited until he went back to work to share the news with family and close friends.  That is when my friend texted me.  I broke down.  I ran to my room, closed the door, and poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father.  This is my journal entry that day:

"Why should I be discouraged?  When things don't go to our plan, in God's "story" they are still perfectly on schedule.  I can't try to take the reins off God's timing.  One month (until matching)?  Two months?  Three? Four?  Waiting until May to travel?  Going by myself?  He has it in His hands.  He knows I must trust Him and run to only Him when I'm discouraged.  Mei Mei, God is holding you tighter than I ever could.  Why do I want to pry you out of His sovereign hand and take you home earlier than He wants?  You are His creation, treasure, and as much as I selfishly want you home with me soon, He must be trusted.  By both of us.

Since that note, we have received unexpected blessings.  This picture is of the biggest flower my flower garden has ever had.  I didn't even know this variety was growing in my flower bed this year.  Overnight on Saturday it bloomed, and as I ate breakfast I gazed at its marvelous beauty.  One large flower doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it was as if God was reassuring me.  Be prepared for unexpected big blessings.  Today we got an email.  Our log in date was supposed to be in two weeks, but it came today!  We can officially be matched now.  However, we were again forewarned that it takes an average of 3 months to be matched with a child.  Then I received another email.  The list of new orphans registered as available for adoption comes out one night a month.  TONIGHT IS THAT NIGHT.  What could this mean?  Why were we unexpectedly logged in on this same day?  Could it mean nothing?
God is able.....
Will He?  We don't know.
Can He?  Of course!
We only want His will to be done.

1 comment:

  1. God is good. All the time. Praising Him with you! Eph 3:20!!!