She's already a part of us. I find myself talking about Mei Mei (pronounced may may-little sister) every day. Friends are always asking about how the process is going and I talk about her. The boys ask questions and we talk about her some more. We pray every day for her safety and nurture. While shopping my eyes drift to little girl outfits, figuring out what style and colors would look cute on her olive complexion. I see pictures of girls' birthday parties, wondering which birthday we will celebrate first and wondering if she will want pink, purple, or red for her theme. And the ironic thing is, we still know nothing about our daughter yet!
We are three months in. There was no activity on our process for about 2 1/2 weeks because of one missing reply from the country of Thailand, who finally responded this week to tell us we don't need to get background checks with them (every country and state we've resided in since 18 years old needed to be checked for this). Now things are moving again! Very soon our completed report will be sent to U.S. immigration for approval. Then we wait again.
I try to compare this paper pregnancy to a physical pregnancy. The only difference is that our daughter is without a doubt completely in God's hands, because I can do nothing at this point to protect or provide for her. Many of the pregnant women I worked with in China over the last two winters had tremendous anxiety issues. They worried excessively about both the health, sex, and appearance of their baby. The reason was, they thought they had to do everything right during their pregnancy, like working out a math equation perfectly, and then out would come a beautiful, healthy baby (and hopefully a boy in their cases!). I assured them that despite giving the best care or the worst care, we never know how our baby is going to turn out. BUT GOD DOES. He weaves our children in the womb and fearfully and wonderfully makes them. They are beautiful in His sight, whether the world thinks so or not. Our daughter is not going to be "perfect" in the world's eyes. She may have damage from early life in the orphanage that she will carry for many years. BUT GOD IS SOVEREIGN. It was in His unique, wise plan to create her, form her, give her life, and place Her with our family in His time. Should we worry? It won't get her home any quicker and definitely won't help my blood pressure or waist line! Should we trust Him? Absolutely! The One who spoke the world into existence, who knows the number of the hairs on our head, and who has the power to save a sinner like me is doing a much better job putting this entire adoption process together and bringing our daughter home than Kris or me!
Please pray for God's timing and our patience. Pray for God's sovereign will to be done. Pray for our daughter's protection and care as we wait for her to move from just being in our hearts to being in our home as well.