Thursday, May 10, 2012

Being an expectant Mom

I'm starting to know what it feels like- to be an expectant mom but not knowing when I will become a parent.  It's a confusing paradox for a paper pregnant mother.  Will I have our daughter in my arms next Mother's Day to bring to child dedication with me at church, or will I be agonizing in my heart, still waiting to bring her home?  With Mother's Day approaching, I find myself wondering more about my daughter who spends each day in a Chinese orphanage, knowing nothing about her forever family, and us knowing nothing about her (yet).  How does she spend each day?  Does she smile, laugh, get tickled and played with, or does she spend each day in a crib, staring at the walls, handed a bottle and changed without nurture or affection?
We will finish the last two home study interviews in just one week, then our documents will be sent to immigration about a month later.  Shortly after immigration approves us, the fun will begin (more about that later!)  Please pray the immigration paperwork flies through the office in two weeks instead of three months (that is the range we've been given).  Pray the finalization of our home study documents goes smoothly and all paperwork we've sent out returns quickly.
Thank you so much to those of you who frequently ask how we are doing.  It means so much to know you are anticipating our precious daughter's adoption as well, and it also helps for us to talk about what we are constantly thinking about as we spend almost every night working on required modules, readings, and online seminars.  I am saddened and hurt when those close to us choose never to mention our adoption plans or become very uncomfortable when I bring it up.  I only hope and pray that they will continue to process through our news and will soon become excited about a new little girl who will enter all of our lives soon.